ch5 pg 31-32

MICHAEL GREEN was dressed in jeans and a polo shirt. The soles of his Nikes looked new, the latest style. His dark hair was carefully combed and cut short. On his right wrist he wore an I.D. bracelet, on his left was what looked like a Rolex. He was a handsome man who seemed like he held anything but a government job. Yuppie was the description that came to mind.
He lay there next to his coffee table with a wine bottle next to his hand. Greenie was colder than the beers in my refrigerator.
HIs apartment was sparsely furnished. To the left was the bedroom and to my right was his kitchen. I imagined him as the kind of person that liked money in the bank as opposed to material possessions. His living room consisted of a T.V. and a stereo; he didn't even own a DVD player. The couch looked second hand, or maybe just over used. I walked to the kitchen and grabbed a couple of paper towels from the dispenser hanging over the sink. I used them to search his place.
I poked around his spartan living room. There on his glass coffee table sat his cordless phone and a note pad. Sitting there in plain sight was a folder that held a plane ticket. Grasping it with the paper towel, I checked the date and destination. Greenie was going to Las Vegas. He had planned to take the Wednesday night redeye and return the next day. His arrival back in Honolulu was Thursday afternoon. Total time in the land of lost wages was five hours. I set the sheaf of tickets back on the glass.
His windows were all fogged because of the humidity, but from where I stood he had a spectacular view of a rain drenched Diamond Head.
I walked into his kitchen and looked into his refrigerator. This guy was the consummate bachelor. He lived off fast food or take out for the only thing in his fridge was some ketchup and beer. There wasn't even any ice in the freezer. There were two glasses on the counter that separated the kitchen from the living room. The first one I sniffed seemed to contain water, the other smelled like scotch. The dark liquid had settled to the bottom of the glass while the top part looked clear. A half empty bottle of Dewars with it's cap off stood near by. The cabinets below the counter yielded nothing.
Greenie's bathroom was surprisingly clean for a bachelor. Tooth paste and a disposable razor sat next to the sink. His slightly worn tooth brush hung by itself on the wall next to the basin. The toilet bowl was sparkling clean and filled with dyed antiseptic water. Toilet paper and scrubbing powder occupied the lower cabinets.
His bed was made military style, all the corners were tucked in. A light colored comforter covered the bed. The pillow cases matched the color of the sheets. If I had a quarter, I could have bounced one off his blanket. I slid my hand under the mattress and walked around his bed. I found nothing.


  1. I'm wondering what Greenie's background is, that he is so neat.

  2. Part of the fun of writing a novel is deciding how deep to go into a character. Greene is dead.
    How much of him do I need to explain?
    I suppose there is a back story to all the characters, but I think at the time I only gave out enough to drive the story along.
    Then again, do you have to remember that he is a overtly neat person? Is that some sort of clue?
    Actually at this point, I don't remember why I wrote him that way; including those details. Maybe it was just to make him interesting and not just a flat character.
    What's interesting about all this (the rewriting) is that I'm sort of editing as I go along, taking out stuff that seems meaningless only to have to go back and add it back in because I reference it later.
    I wrote this stuff so long ago that it is a mystery to me also.

  3. A good example is the whole searching of his apartment. As I wrote it up, I wondered what I was thinking about. The whole apartment search seemed way too long and detailed. I was thinking about cutting it down for it seemed to drag and make the story loose steam.
    So far my attempts at rewriting have been small bits and pieces; I haven't really hacked at it yet. Although there are some parts where I want to.
    I have decided to remain true for the most part, to what I originally wrote.
    Another interesting point to make about this text is that I wrote it before I went back to school.
    It is both amusing and embarrassing to have to go through this.